When Patriarchy runs deep..& wide
Picture this…
A senior investment banking professional is managing a portfolio of investments with a value of 1 million USD successfully as its VP, acquiring large number of blue-chip investor clients and is having a dream run in expanding the firm’s client base. In this case it's a SHE and she was having one of the most successful stints in her career in a large metro city in India.
One would assume she is succeeding because she richly deserves it, is a star who is immensely driven, competent, committed and is determined to keep shining. She must be having great support at work and at home without which it would not be possible for her to reach this position! Well, that’s not entirely the case. She was achieving this against all odds stacked against her and despite not just lack of support, but despite constant taunts and abuses hurled at her by her partner and his family over close to two decades, which went well beyond verbal to becoming more physical, despite coming from a well educated, professionally qualified and so called ‘sophisticated’ background.
Shocking.. yet true!
Recently when I chanced to meet this woman, Radha (name changed), she shared with me in a rather heartfelt conversation about how she picked up the pieces of a life and career that was shattered beyond her imagination when she was thrown out of the house by her spouse after being subjected to mental and physical torture, and mustered huge courage laced with self-conviction and determination to claim her place in the corporate world — as a returner.
It was hitting me hard when she narrated how she had to take a seven year break from her highly flourishing career when she decided to turn a care giver to one of her parents who was terminally ill then — to ensure they got the care, attention and treatment they needed at that time.
Women are by nature quite selfless in many ways but the society around them does not always reciprocate this. When she was done with her care giving responsibilities that she had morally assumed as her own, she had to restart.. and restarted she at a much a lower level than the one at which she left.. She spoke about how biased her employer organization was about taking her back as a returner and how much of an unequal deal she was given with utter lack of appreciation of her true talent and utter disregard for her prior experience, capabilities and potential. It was truly an unequal world she had stepped into!
However, not one to be cowed down by this, she searched hard and managed to identify a wealth management company that rose above paying lip service to DEI and was a true torch bearer for gender equity and diversity. This company looked beyond her career break — to recognize her immense talent, solid prior experience and huge potential to lead a large portfolio. That was a the turning point for this resolute woman who seized the opportunity with both hands and made the success her own! She now heads their wealth management division for one of the largest regions and is inspiring many other colleagues to rise above adversities and claim their space in the workplace and the society.
While her life story left me shell-shocked and teary eyed, I also drew immense inspiration from her! There are numerous women like Radha who have been victims of gender discrimination, domestic violence, stereotyping and bias, and have overcome hurdles with tremendous grit, courage and conviction.
There is more we need to do as a society to call out behaviors of men and women which are intended to suppress and trample upon women, while building stronger support systems for the impacted women to recognize their potential and aims, embrace them and give them their due space and enable their career paths, celebrating their success and sharing their inspiring stories to motivate the next generation of women who have those dreams and aims but run the risk of being suppressed and relegated to the background of darkness and despair.
Let’s be the change we want to see!!
